The fog is lifting

I finally did some sewing that I want to do. I'm trying to motivate myself to do a little something that is just for me, even if it is 30 minutes everyday. So far I've failed. But this morning I made these. Slowly I'm doing a new quilt for our bed. Not sure that Aaron will like it, but I'm enthused. 

This morning we are heading out again to pick Aaron up from somewhere in the boondocks. I made some Russian Fudge to take to the walkers as they were hankering after it last time they were home. It's been great having some time with him as he walks the Te Araroa Trail. But by the time I do my rather full on and stressful over full time job, shuffle kids, keep some kind of control on the house and pick him up etc. There is no time left and I'm shattered.

Aaron is tramping in country like this for three months. I've been not coping particularly well, but about 9 days ago things started to turn and I woke up feeling OK for the first time in ages. I've been battling with my full on job, dealing with an ongoing and significant health blow, working through the death of a much loved nephew in January and solo parenting. When you look in writing I think that it is no wonder I feel like I do. But the lid is lifting, I'm starting to feel better in myself. All those things are still there but I can feel myself mentally coping again. 

To be honest I'm really jealous of Aaron, not walking three months! but because my mountain tops have been ruled out once more and potentially for the rest of my life. I mourn for what I cannot do physically anymore. Not just because of the physical piece but that is where I used to calm down, regroup and remove myself from the bustle of life. Sometimes reality sucks as in my mind I can still do that. So enjoyed doing some craft and appreciating time out this morning before heading out to pick up Aaron again.